14
Mar
2010

Raising Great Kids
We Are Family
Written by Pastor Eddie   
Raising Great Kids, the dream of every parent.  Check out Psalm 128:14.  I want you to not what proceeds the blessing in this passage... it's the fear of the Lord.  Fear is translated in this instance as reverent - meaning to honor, show respect and to bow; humility.

Now look at what this passage says will be blessed - The hands of your labor, your life, your wife, and your children.  “...your children will be like olive shoots around your table.”  

Here is one picture to the words "olive shoots" - olive of course was what produced the oil to be used in God’s temple as well as other various uses; with that in mind here is one translation; “Like the oil of olives”.  Remember, I'm speaking of children and how they look when we as parents fear the Lord.  The imagery here is, to shine; to adorn; to cause to shine in brightness; to be covered in oil.

Over the last few weeks, I have spoken of God being first in our relationship and marriage being second, now we look at children, who are the third most important priority in our life.  That is the priority line and it has to be established that way so that we will not give up the priority of our marriage.  Your children need to know that they are a very high priority in your life, after the priority of marriage.  Communicating that priority is being able to say “no” to other things in order to say “yes” to them.

Dad’s, it means putting down the newspaper, computer and the remote control and spending focused time with your children.  Statistics show that on average an American father will spend a 9 seconds of focused time with his children.

Psalm 127:3 tells us that this is how the Lord builds the house; in other words, any other way but Yahweh, is a labor in vain.  Look at verse 3 - “Behold, children area heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.”  Here is what that is saying; as parents if we will allow the Lord to build our house, built on Jesus and His Word, blessed children will be our inheritance, our reward.

Here is how Jesus builds His house.  He reveals Himself as the Christ, the Son of the living God.  He builds upon the Word of God; He washes His bride with the water of His word.  For us as parents, it is showing our children Jesus, leading them to Him.  We are to model Jesus and care for our children like Jesus does for His church.

How do you treat an reward from God.  You care for it!  Every child has the need for affection from both parents.  They need affection, affirmation and attention from both parents which will help build their sexual identity.  A father who will give his daughter proper affection helps build her sexually identity and gives her a proper model for the male affection when she is older.

Along with the affection, affirmation and positive attention our children also need parameters and those parameters need to be enforced.  Watch your children, don’t rule over the with an authoritarian hammer; oversee them.  Tell them “no” at the right time and in the right way and they will feel loved and protected.  Example:  Miranda

As a parent you model what your children will become.  If you are a screamer - you will raise a screamer.  If you are authoritarian in how you rule the house, you will raise a child who shows a lack of concern for the wishes or opinions of others; and who is domineering.

On the other hand, if you have your priorities in order; God, your spouse, children, etc. Your children will shine.  This doesn’t mean that we become soft and give into our children, there is discipline and parameters, it is simply walked out according the the Word of God.  Unfortunately, that is what often times happens within households.  We go from one extreme to the next.

You have the parent who doesn’t care for their children properly, and then only gets involved to extend punishment, or you have the other extreme where the parent worships the children and they can do not wrong.  Although as I said earlier, children need to be loved and nurtured, problems arise when they become the object of worship.  Have you ever heard or seen someone say this, “They can do no wrong; people just don’t understand how special you are… Muah... Muah... Muah...!”  Dramatic Pause... Yuk!

Here is what children need.  They need to see their parents in love with each other, not stressed out trying to meet their children’s demands.  Remember, they pattern their future relationships on what they see at home.  This can apply to grandparents as well, if your grandchildren spend the majority of their time with you.  

They also need to see a united front in their parents.  In other words, never let your children see you disagree about parenting.  Never take sides with the children, don’t let them divide you.  Expand.  Honor each other.  Whenever your child dishonors your spouse, you defend your spouse.  Never embarrass each other in public.  Work out disagreements in private and never let one spouse become the Bad Guy or the hitman.  

The atmosphere in the home should be that both parents will love and discipline the children.  If you are the easy going, merciful type, learn to be stronger.  If you are the harsh personality type, learn some softness, so that children will have balance and discipline.  Do these things, beginning with the fear of the Lord will help insure that you are Raising Great Kids!
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